Not What it Seems

My life

2010-03-20T03:02:00.000-07:00

This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I,ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I,d never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I,m not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing ok
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before

Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

Forty Six & 2

2009-06-27T04:45:00.000-07:00

Addiction, Pain, Sorry?

2009-06-20T02:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high
It's been a while
Since I first saw you

It's been a while
Since I could stand on my own two feet again

And it's been a while
Since I could call you

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that I've rendered
Have stretched myself beyond my means

It's been a while
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted

It's been a while
Since I could say I loved myself as well and...

It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do

It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
Consequences that I've rendered
Gone and fucked things up again... again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

It's been a while
Since I could...
Look at myself straight

It's been a while
Since I said I'm sorry

It's been a while
Since I've seen the way candles light your face

It's been a while
But I can still remember just the way you taste

Everything I can remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
To me... I know this pain
Can I blame this on my father?
He did the best he could for me

It's been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high

It's been a while
Since I said I'm sorry

Ode To Enigma

2009-05-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

Every one asks me how do I go on with my life
without finding my other pair of socks.

Why don't I put some order in my wardrobe also?
And live (instead) sometimes in the shed
and sometimes in the garage

But I know well how it endures, crazy door opener,
puppy love that runs for the unknown car

Love that constantly barks,
comfort does not need a nail in the head (again)
and answers does not have knight of the Jedi, you

Chorus X 2 many
My Enigma, Enigma, was a WW2 machine
my suffering (torture) I fell in love with a box of cogs
My Enigma, Enigma, the Germans had it
(it seems) that I will never find a solution to this bloody code

I say again, again
strange thing the room doesn't stop moving when you
drink too much
All things leave, go, pass, (like a) ship out of my bottom
(that) comes in the bay but does not stay in the hay,
no way, today

But I know well how it can last,
crazy love of strange green
blobs
love that runs for the unknown potty

Love that constantly asks, gets really annoying
comfort does not need this master of Jedi
and answers does not have younger ones confused
they are. Maybe

Chorus X 4
Christs sake My Enigma, Enigma, it needs some oil
my suffering (torture) I fell in love with a squeaky box
My Enigma, Enigma, what's wrong now you bloody thing
(it seems) that I will never find a solution as my hand is
stuck

From Kently

Funny Red Sheet

2009-04-01T04:56:00.000-07:00

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
'bout a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away…away from me
Well it’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
inside of me ...... inside of me ...(x2)

I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
I’m only a man looking for a dream

I’m only a man in a funny red sheet

It’s not easy ... wu.. hoo.. hoo..
It’s not easy to be me...

Too Long I Have Wandered in Winter

2009-01-08T05:17:00.000-08:00

New Guy In Town

2008-12-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

Hi Folks,

A very dear (rather sexy) friend of mine has just launched his blog.

He is a professional certified astrologer, so obviously its an astrology blog, but one with a twist , jam packed with useful information, and a rather humorous take on things.

Check him out at http://www.astrologic.us

And to all my bestest buddies, a merry Xmas and happy New Year to you.

re; overdue amount

2008-11-11T01:43:00.001-08:00

2008-09-27T20:43:00.001-07:00

Hi Guys, the last post is removed due to tecnical problems.

For The Romantics

2008-07-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

Sonnets from the Portuguese, #43
by Elizabeth Barrett-Browning (1850)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints — I love with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Famous, or Maybe Infamous?

2008-06-28T15:57:00.000-07:00

I have had one of my more humorous posts published in a book about Bloggers, along with a few other Notables, Scorpie, Just A Girl, to name a few.

And just to clear up a strengthening rumour -I am not an Australian man, pretending to be 3 other Australian men , Scorpie, Indy, Wombat ,who is pretending to be an Australian woman. (sorry Scorpie, I couldnt resist ,LOL)

WHAT HAVE WE BECOME?

2008-06-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

It is a disease in society today, be nice, be kind, be patient, be spiritual.

What the majority of people don't realize is ,that attitude often create the 'predator-prey" mentality.

The violent regimes of this world regard it as weakness to be exploited.
We are all God, but not all of us are aware of that fact.

What that creates is a climate where Messianic maniacs like Mugabe can decimate,rape, kill,plunder and destroy their own county and people , and we in the free world sit back and do nothing.

We are so fearful of being seen as politically incorrect, that the basis premise of advanced life on this planet is forgotten.

THE STRONG PROTECT THE WEAK
In primitive cultures the strong attack the weak, the "predator-prey' syndrome.It is a sign of an advanced culture to protect those weaker than us, whether its people, animals, or our planet.

So we have the UN, who tries in their misguided fashion to reason with a madmen and mad regimes.

We have a situation in Burma, where we are begging and bargaining with corrupt generals to let us save their people.The generals are telling us they will let us save their people for 3 billion dollars.
What the fuck!@!!!They think we are stupid, and we actually are.

But the generals are smart, they realize that after 4 weeks or so, the dying starving people will be old news, and forgotten to the general public,so they wont really have a problem.

When will we realise that there is NO negotiating with despotic regimes?

They regard negotiating as weak, and a ploy for getting what they want.

Where the hell has common sense gone in this mad world?

People talk about the evilness of America invading Iraq.

The main problem was they weren't honest about it.

What they should have said is 'We cant afford to have the main oil, and world power supply in the the hands of extremists, so we will doctor up some excuse of weapons of mass destruction to take it".

This may seem like a very unpopular thing for me to say, but any one reading this, ask yourself, who would you want to be in charge of the worlds oil fields? And the associated power that brought?

American? Afghanistan, the Taliban ,Pakistan, the Mullahs ? Bin laden? I know who I would want.

Because if America didn't do what it did, you can bet it in a few years it would have been a very different world we now live in.

Think about it.

And mad dictators must be overthrown, wether we gain anything material from doing it or not.

....And unless we in the west, start taking real action, not the endless talking ,dissembling, discussing, crap that we now see, many more millions will die, in Burma, Sierra Leonie, Afghanistan, Africa.

We, in the western world, as a democratic powerful society, have a duty of care to protect these people, and to help them gain independance from repressive regimes.

Until we do, their will never be world peace, and we can protest, think positive thoughts, study Zen ,do affirmations till the cows come home, but until strong, moral, responsible action is taken, regardless of public opinion, we are guilty of being the one good man that does nothing.

This is OUR responsibility, OUR world, OUR people,OUR planet.

And we can let popular opinion rule, or stop being sheep and stand up for what we believe is right, no matter the religion, race, gender or nationality.

Good-bye

2008-04-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Folks,
I am back from my retreat and have decided to stop blogging, I,m not sure if its forever, or just for a while.

The reason I started blogging, was due to certain problems with my partners film business, I had to leave what I had been doing for 15 years ( intuitive counseling)and put all my time and energy into changing the structure of the existing business, and also branching it into a new one.

I have been working on this full time for about 2 years now, and it is now stable, and the new one is ready to roll.
I also had to drop my prison rehab programs, my Indian orphanage program, and various workshops and groups I used to run.

This again isn't a whinge, just what had to be done.

So I felt very lonely.The world of SFX, and the military, whilst very interesting, didn't really have a lot of "me" there..So I started reaching out to others through the Internet.
It was a medium for me to express the parts of me that weren't being expressed in my day to day life.

The 'others' I met are a diverse bunch of people who have stunned me with their awareness, kindness, intelligence, humour, spirituality and compassion ( yes, You Guys) who's loving support I have felt and treasured from across the miles that separate us, and I have also made some deep personal friends along the way.

However the cyber world has been gradually taking over for a while now, and its time for me to withdraw from it and get back into what I need to do.

To all my much, much loved blog buddies out there, email me if you feel like it, and I want to say thank you, I love all of you, and if I am ever in your part of the world, or you mine, lets meet up and "do lunch".

I wish you all the very best this life has to offer,
Love Enigma

A Foxes Tail

2008-04-08T18:50:00.000-07:00

I am going away for a few days, to work on getting a few more tails.

I leave you all in the safe and wise hands of Gingatao.

The Law

2008-04-07T21:06:00.000-07:00

The sun may be clouded, yet ever the sun
Will sweep on its course till the cycle is run.
And when into chaos the systems are hurled,
Again shall the Builder reshape a new world.

Your path may be clouded, uncertain your goal;
Move on, for the orbit is fixed for your soul.
And though it may lead into darkness of night
The torch of the Builder shall give it new light.

You were, and you will be; know this while you are:
Your spirit has traveled both long and afar.
It came from the Source, to the Source it returns;
The spark that was lighted eternally burns.

From body to body your spirit speeds on;
It seeks a new form when the old one is gone;
And the form that it finds is the fabric we wrought
On the loom of the mind with the fibre of thought.

From cycle to cycle, through time and through space,
Your lives with your longings will ever keep pace.
All that you ask for and all you desire
Must come at your bidding, as flames out of fire.

You are your own devil, you are your own God.
You fashioned the paths that your footsteps have trod.
And no one can save you from error or sin
Until you hark to the spirit within.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1850-1915

A Miserable Life (back as a reminder)

2008-04-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some handy tips to guarantee that your life is as miserable as it can possibly be

*Constantly think and talk about the past, preferably all the negative things. Even the positive things are a great way to make you feel miserable, they are gone, who knows if they will ever happen again.

*Define yourself by your age.

*Always be right.

*Never inquire into your thought processes, that would undo being right.

*Have most of your conversations revolve around what someone else did, and don't forget to judge them accordingly.

*Take everything, absolutely everything, including the weather, personally.

*Use the expressions "it isn't fair, and this shouldn't have happened" whenever something goes wrong and always find something to blame, including yourself

*Compare yourself to other people, positively or negatively , it doesn't matter which.

*Learn to react quickly , subjectively and emotionally to whatever happens .

*Cultivate the philosophy "if your not with me, your against me".

*Never forget who has hurt you, the first tip helps enormously with this.

*Treat your children and your partners as extensions of yourself.

*Expect people to think and feel exactly like you, and react with justified anger when they don't.

*React with even more anger when they do all of the above.

*Always do what you think is expected of you, never tell people how you really feel and then blow up in justifiable anger at how they are abusing you.

*Get into the habit of generalizing and putting people in boxes

*Expect people and life to never change.

*Use as your favourite expression "this is the way I am and I cant help or change it".

*Be defensive and evasive, after all if your honest, you, ll give the game away.

*Think that if someone loves you, they know what you are thinking and feeling.

*Spend hours trying to work out what someones motive is , come up with your own ideas, and treat them accordingly.

*Make sure that you are never kind or purposely back down from a fight with someone you don't like, it shows weakness.

*Cut people out of your life who don't agree with you.

*Blame everything in your life on external events, and when someone refuses to treat you as a victim, get really angry and call them unsupportive.

*Never learn anything new or meet different people.

*Surround yourself with people who actively practice these tips as a way of life, this helps perfect it . Remember misery loves company.

*Expect people to do things on your time frame.

*Pick unavailable romantic partners , be with them for years, use all of the reasons above why you cant leave them, and then do it all over with someone new.

*Regard every new relationship as "The One'.

*Have set rules, regulations and expectations on the relationship, if they don't fulfill them , ditch them , they weren't "The One", this nicely validates all the other techniques.

These are just a few handy hints, but even if you only do a few of them, a miserable life is guaranteed. And the beauty of this is it can only get worse.

Try it for two weeks, and if you don't feel like total shit by that time you can get your money back.

Enjoy

The Kitten Gets It!

2008-04-04T23:45:00.000-07:00

Who will save Table Wabbit?

This is the last of the rescued kittens, we have called her "Table Wabbit" as she is really soft and fluffy like a rabbit. The other 2 went to good homes together a few weeks ago.

We are making a poster up saying that the kitten gets it in 2 weeks if we cant find a home for her.

The feral mum had another litter last week, 6 of them.
I will be de- sexing the little tramp as soon as possible.

Mother and babies are doing well, I'm rather frazzled with 10 cats.

My Immortal

2008-04-04T01:24:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[CHORUS:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Where its at.

2008-04-03T02:56:00.000-07:00

Understanding men, and people in general is really simple, you just realize that you will never really know where someone else is at.

Why? Because you are not them. Its an impossibility to know fully and completely where someone else is at. Its that simple.

You can only know your ideas of them.

Understanding where you are at is the important thing, everything else naturally falls into place once this is worked out.

(The Gingatao Dancers)From Princess Lakota

2008-04-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

I have stolen this from Princess Lakotas site, I found it too hysterically funny to keep hidden in the back room, and also Princess is so talented at putting this sort of thing together, it should be shared *raises glass to Princess*

This was in response to a strange comment tangent that myself, Jo ,and Princess danced of with on Gingataos site.
Paul, you know you've really made it when you have a dance troupe named after you

Don't send a lame eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Thank You ( again)

2008-03-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

I have deleted that last post, as I don't feel comfortable having something so personal permanently up.

I also want to give every one who commented a big group hug, for your heart touching concern, words of wisdom (and humour), and actually for just being there...it means more to me than you all can know.

Mush Brain

2008-03-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

I don't feel like doing anything,
my brain has turned to mush.

I have so much to do,
and I'm wading though
the slush and crush
of this Sundays hush.

Come on Brain,
do your thing,
Finnish that thesis,
give those people a ring.

Write that proposal,
don't make it antipodal
And remember to call Jenny
At The Weapons Disposal.

Stop talking to the cat
It doesn't have
a clue where your at.
Finnish building that site
or you ll be up all night.

Read through that script,
though its probably shit.
Who knows?Maybe one day
it will be a hit.

Organise that meeting
with Colonel Sweeting,
for some time next week
or well be up the creek.

Do the dishes, and the laundry too
and clean up the rest
of the messy cat poo.
Brush cut the lawn, don't you dare yawn,
there is so much to do
I'm counting on you.

"OH bugger off "
says my brain.
Your giving me a pain,
it will be done when its done,
Think I'll go and laze in the sun

Another one Bites The Dust

2008-03-27T17:27:00.000-07:00

Well there goes the American film we were contracted to work on for the next 9 months.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=114495

This is a rant from me, on the deplorable state of the Aussie film industry...especially NSW.

In the last 4 years, we have watched so many of our friends and business associates go bankrupt, loose absolutely everything, and some of them commit suicide.

We are one of only 2 studios left in NSW, and believe me, its been a bloody struggle to hold onto.
And why is this?

1-The Australian Government doesn't want to give tax credits to overseas films, thereby guaranteeing that no big films are made here, and with the Aussie dollar almost the same as America, what is the incentive?The government only wants to give credits to Australian films, but most Aussie films are low budget, and cannot sustain a large crew. And it has been shown that they are pretty much uninteresting to the wider market, how many Rabbit Proof fence's, Danny Deckchairs, Prissilla , etc can you watch?

2-You have rich media moguls (not mentioning names) who keep the biggest film studios in Australia booked up and constantly empty, so their equally spoilt favourite directors can decide at their leisure if they want to make a film there or not, with the result that no big films can be made, they usually go overseas. The rent of these studios to the rich moguls is an unbelievably low amount, so they are under no pressure to make it profitable, its a tax write off to them.

3-When something does finally get made, you have the piranhas that are in the council circling around, all wanting a slice of the pie, and charging exorbitant location fees. The last big TVC we did, we rented the premises privately of a company, worked out the price, and away we went.

A council officer stepped in, and tried to blackmail the production company into giving them $10,000 a day. Now as this was private land, it was pretty obvious who's pockets this would be lining. Luckily the producer called the council big Whigs in and called them on it, and they had to drop it, but this sort of thing happens all the time.

The upshot of this shortsightedness, is an industry that was once thriving is dead, not dying, actually dead.
It was an industry that once employed thousands of people, and trained young people in the actual (not film school) way of film making.
Now any talented people who want to survive have to go overseas. ..which puts a huge strain on families, relationships, and guarantees that our brightest and most talented are not working here, and again flows what could be money into Australia, out of it.

So that's my rant.

Boys Will be Boys

2008-03-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

I get woken up by my Mobile phone ringing at 4 AM this morning.
Now most people would be somewhat worried getting a phone call at that time of the morning, I am used to it as it is often our security company ringing to tell me our workshop alarm has gone off, (to which I respond, I'll fix it in the morning) or my ex, drunk, saying "Wotcha doin? Baby"(to which I respond, sleeping).

However this morning it was the call every mother dreads, "Hi , Ms Enigma, this is Mikey, there has been an accident ,Little Man is in the hospital".

I have a tendency to become super calm in the middle of a situation like this, so I just said "What happened? And how bad is it?"

The upshot is that he got plastered with his friends, tripped over going into the apartment building, and smashed through the plate glass door, cracking his head open on the concrete.

So Mikey puts LM on ,
"Mum" he says, "I've got a really bad headache." "You're a bloody idiot" , I say, in true loving mother fashion.
"I'll come to the hospital " I continue, "No, No ", he says, "They are stapling my head up, and I,ll be home in a minute."

So I get a nurse on the phone, see what the damage is, make myself a cup of tea and calmly wait for the immanent arrival of LM.

LM arrives about an hour later, totally drunk, covered in blood, with 5 staples in his head.
Now LM doesn't get drunk like this very often, which is a good thing, as I mentioned in another post , he is over 6 foot, very muscly, and when hes drunk he is a bit difficult to control.

So he comes in yelling at the top of his lungs, "Ive got metal in my head" over and over.
I,m trying to get him settled on the lounge, check the damage, mop up the blood, and give him some tablets, hes flailing around, yelling about the metal in his head.

I end up saying" Oh for Gods sake, shut up and lie down, and let me fix you up"

He subsides onto the lounge, I clean up the blood, and as I'm bending over him, I get the strangest feeling, my blood starts pounding in my ears, I think I'm going to throw up, and everything starts going dim ,"Oh God, I'm going to faint",I say.

LM starts yelling again, "Mum its not that bad, I'm O.K, don't be upset"

I rush to the bathroom, throw up, and sit with my head between my legs until its passes.
A shock delayed reaction I think.

So I come back, sit on the lounge and cradle my Little Mans head in my lap, and soothe him to sleep.

I don't talk about my son much, but he is the love of my life.
I raised him on my own from when he was 6 months old, and for a long time there was only him and I.
He was my only reason for living for a long time, and if something happened to him, I really don't know if I would survive it.

He is not just my son, but one of the finest human beings I have ever known, and I am blessed to have him in my life, as my family and friend.

The Voice of The Voiceless

2008-03-22T20:22:00.000-07:00

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I am the voice of the voiceless;
Through me the dumb shall speak;
Till the deaf world's ear be made to hear
The cry of the wordless weak.
From street, from cage, and from kennel,
From jungle and stall, the wail
Of my tortured kin proclaims the sin
Of the mighty against the frail.

I am a ray from the centre;
And I will feed God's spark,
Till a great light glows in the night and shows
The dark deeds done in the dark.
And full on the thoughtless sleeper
Shall flash its glaring flame,
Till he wakens to see what crimes may be
Cloaked under an honoured name.

The same Force formed the sparrow
That fashioned man, the king;
The God of the Whole gave a spark of soul
To furred and to feathered thing.
And I am my brother's keeper,
And I will fight his fight,
And speak the word for beast and bird,
Till the world shall set things right.

Let no voice cavil at Science -
The strong torch-bearer of God;
For brave are his deeds, though dying creeds,
Must fall where his feet have trod.
But he who would trample kindness
And mercy into the dust -
He has missed the trail, and his quest will fail:
He is not the guide to trust.

For love is the true religion,
And love is the law sublime;
And all that is wrought, where love is not,
Will die at the touch of time.
And Science, the great revealer,
Must flame his torch at the Source;
And keep it bright with that holy light,
Or his feet shall fail on the course.

Oh, never a brute in the forest,
And never a snake in the fen,
Or ravening bird, starvation stirred,
Has hunted its prey like men.
For hunger, and fear, and passion
Alone drive beasts to slay,
But wonderful man, the crown of the plan,
Tortures, and kills, for play.

He goes well fed from his table;
He kisses his child and wife;
Then he haunts a wood, till he orphans a brood,
Or robs a deer of its life.
He aims at a speck in the azure;
Winged love, that has flown at a call;
It reels down to die, and he lets it lie;
His pleasure was seeing it fall.

And one there was, weary of laurels,
Of burdens and troubles of State;
So the jungle he sought, with the beautiful thought
Of shooting a she lion's mate.
And one came down from the pulpit,
In the pride of a duty done,
And his cloth sufficed, as his emblem of Christ,
While murder smoked out of his gun.

One strays from the haunts of fashion
With an indolent, unused brain;
But his sluggish heart feels a sudden start
In the purpose of giving pain.
And the fluttering flock of pigeons,
As they rise on eager wings,
From prison to death, bring a catch in his breath:
OH, THE RAPTURE OF KILLING THINGS!

Now, this is the race as we find it,
Where love, in the creed, spells hate;
And where bird and beast meet a foe in the priest
And in rulers of fashion and State.
But up to the Kingdom of Thinkers
Has risen the cry of our kin;
And the weapons of thought are burnished and brought
To clash with the bludgeons of sin.

Far Christ, of a million churches,
Come near to the earth again;
Be more than a Name; be a living Flame;
'Make Good' in the hearts of men.
Shine full on the path of Science,
And show it the heights above,
Where vast truths lie for the searching eye
That shall follow the torch of love.

Thank you

2008-03-22T04:11:00.000-07:00

To all you super lovely people who left messages whilst I was recovering from my injury, a big thank you.
To the ones who didnt ,I don't care ,So there.* poking my tongue out*

A Break

2008-03-14T17:14:00.001-07:00

Hi Folks,
I will be taking a break, as a few weeks ago I fractured my right elbow, and busted the bursor. Anyhow, it aint getting better, and it is bloody painful to use the mouse, or pretty much anything.
So I dont think I will be posting, or commenting much...but I will still be lurking.

In The Night

2008-03-12T03:13:00.000-07:00

Sometimes at night, when I sit and write,
I hear the strangest things-
As my brain grows hot with burning thought,
That struggles for form and wings,
I can hear the beat of my swift blood's feet,
As it speeds with a rush and a whir,
From heart to brain and back again,
Like a race-horse under the spur.

With my soul's fine ear I listen and hear
The tender silence speak,
As it leans on the breast of Night to rest,
And presses his dusky cheek.
And the darkness turns in its sleep, and yearns
For something that is kin;
And I hear the hiss of a scorching kiss,
As it folds and fondles Sin

And in its hurrying race through leagues of space,
I can hear the Earth catch breath,
As it heaves and moans, and shudders and groans,
And longs for the rest of Death.
And high and far from a distant star,
Whose name is unknown to me,
I hear a voice that says "Rejoice,
For I keep watch o'er thee!"

Oh, sweet and strange are the sounds that range
Through the chambers of the night;
And the watcher who waits by the dim, dark gates,
May hear if he listens aright.

Ella Wheeler Willcox (1850-1919)

Fleeing Away

2008-03-12T02:28:00.000-07:00

MY thoughts soar not as they ought to soar,
Higher and higher on soul-lent wings;
But ever and often and more and more
They are dragged down earthward by little things,
By little troubles and little needs,
As a lark might be tangled among the weeds.

My purpose is not what it ought to be,
Steady and fixed, like a star on high,
But more like a fisherman's light at sea;
Hither and thither it seems to fly--
Sometimes feeble, and sometimes bright,
Then suddenly lost in the gloom of night.

My life is far from my dream of life--
Calmly contented, serenely glad;
But, vexed and worried by daily strife,
It is always troubled and ofttimes sad--
And the heights I had thought I should reach one day
Grow dimmer and dimmer, and farther away.

My heart never finds the longed-for rest;
Its worldly striving, its greed for gold,
Chilled and frightened the calm-eyed guest
Who sometimes sought me in days of old;
And ever fleeing away from me
Is the higher self that I long to be.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

English to be the official language of Europe

2008-03-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which, was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking ze German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

PS. I didnt write this,I'm not that witty, it was emailed to me.

My Weekend, (this is just really a cheap ego ploy).

2008-03-08T22:08:00.000-08:00

So what did I do this weekend?
So nice of you to ask.

On Saturday morning I went to our workshop and cleaned up.

The Guys are messy and leave all sorts of stuff lying around.

Then I helped my partner build beehives for our property on the North coast.

Our Property.

Then I helped my man change the stock on a couple of guns from wood to synthetic (he calls me "Daddies little helper")

Then we finished the floating lake house for our swamp chickens to live in.

Our swamp chooks.

Then it was time to go back to our cliff top city rented digs, watch the boats roll in , and get spruced up as I had a night out with the girls planned.

What to wear tonight? hhhmmm. Maybe this LBD (with a thigh holster, of course)

But does it make my bum look big?

And is it too trashy?

I know , I'll wear my new shoes to make it more classy.

The Night Out
Well we ended up here I got trollied and got chatted up and (flirted ,rockstar deleted) with someone.
So I thought it was a good idea to go home.

Sunday
Felt a little bit fragile after Saturday, was due to see Mum, but couldn't quite face it.

The Cat Lady

2008-03-07T23:53:00.000-08:00

This was painted by a Serbian artist, for me, commissioned by my Croatian ex.

I went to Croatia to meet his parents during the war, as you do, and to stop him being thrown into jail as a deserter.

While we were there, we went to amazing medieval coffee shop , on top of a cliff, that was built into an old 15th century fort. The shop had lots of beautiful paintings hanging there, and we sat down directly across from this one .

I said to him, "Oh I love that painting, its so much like me" (I had 8 cats) and he said "look at the plaque on it".

The plaque had written on it,"To Enigma , my life and my Love, Happy Birthday, from Dean."

It was one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me.

(Its 5 foot and weighs 25 kilos, and we lugged it across five countires, getting it home)

And Now for Something Completely Differant

2008-03-06T01:34:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favourite songs.

The Words
Tool
Something has to change.
Un-deniable dilemma.
Boredom's not a burden
Anyone should bear.

Constant over stimu-lation numbs me
but I wouldn't want you
any other way.

It's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my hand.

I can help you change
Tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and we'll be
Well upon our way.

Blend and balance
Pain and comfort
Deep within you
Till you will not want me any other way.

It's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Knuckle deep inside the borderline.
This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to.
Relax. Slip away.

Something kinda sad about
the way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything.
What became of subtlety?

How can it mean anything to me
If I really don't feel anything at all?

I'll keep digging till
I feel something.

Elbow deep inside the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Shoulders deep within the borderline.
Relax. Turn around and take my hand.

Whinge, whinge, whinge

2008-03-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

I'm restless, bored, frustrated. I want to have a grand adventure, see new things, meet different people. Go scuba diving, mountain climbing, salsa dancing. Feel passionatly about something...whinge, whinge, whinge.

You Will Forget Me

2008-03-04T01:52:00.000-08:00

You will forget me. The years are so tender,
They bind up the wounds which we think are so deep,
This dream of our youth will fade out as the splendour
Fades from the skies when the sun sinks to sleep,
The cloud of forgetfulness, over and over
Will banish the last rosy colours away,
And the fingers of time will weave garlands to cover
The scar which you think is a life-mark today.

You will forget me. The one boon you covet
Now above all things will soon. seem no prize,
And the heart, which you hold not in keeping to prove it
True or untrue, will lose worth in your eyes.
The one drop to-day, that you deem only wanting
To fill your life-cup to the brim, soon will seem
But a valueless mite; and the ghost that is haunting
The aisles of your heart will pass out with the dream.

You will forget me, will thank me for saying
The words which you think are so pointed with pain.
Time loves a new lay, and the dirge he is playing
Will change for you soon to a livelier strain.
I shall pass from your life, I shall pass out forever,
And these hours we have spent will be sunk in the past.
Youth buries its dead, grief kills seldom or never
And forgetfulness covers all sorrows at last.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
One of My favourite poets

Other Important Things.

2008-03-03T00:24:00.000-08:00

My partner left his stinky socks in the lounge room, and my new cat (the rescued mum) went up and had a sniff of them.

He watched her for a while and then said to her,

"Breathe deeply , My Pretty.

Once you get a whiff of that rich alpha male spore, youll be mine forever."

A Perfect Storm

2008-03-02T13:51:00.000-08:00

Reason and Passion

And the Priestess spoke again and said: 'Speak to us of Reason and Passion.'

And he answered saying: Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite. Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody. But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction. Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing; And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house. Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.

Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows - then let your heart say in silence, 'God rests in reason.'

And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, - then let your heart say in awe, 'God moves in passion.'

And since you are a breath In God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.

Kahlil Gibran

Good Morning

2008-03-01T13:38:00.000-08:00

Its Been a While

2008-03-01T03:42:00.000-08:00

Leo Kottke

2008-02-27T13:31:00.000-08:00

I saw leo kottke last night, magical

A Bit of Fun

2008-02-26T01:32:00.001-08:00

And This

2008-02-23T23:18:00.000-08:00

This one is 200 stitches per inch ,done in 2 strand silk.

I copied this one from a card.
And while I'm being a total wanker, I'll mention that I also made the frame on the other one.

A Knight in Shining Armour

2008-02-23T01:57:00.000-08:00

This is one of my hobbies, it was drawn freehand, and took me 3 years to stitch.

I also used to make exotic lingerie for strippers, but I got tired of hanging out at brothels and strip clubs.

Kitten Update

2008-02-18T00:17:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like I may have some people to take the kittens, I'm going to keep Mum, here is a picture of them

?????????

2008-02-17T02:11:00.000-08:00

The answer is always found in the question.

A Tail of 3 Kittens (free to good homes)

2008-02-14T15:36:00.000-08:00

This blog is pretty much posted for the Aussies .
I have been looking after a feral mother cat, and her 3 kittens for the last 3 months.
I first came across her and her newborn kittens when I heard them miaowing in an abandoned building down the road. On investigation, there were 5 of them, about 2 days old.Unfortunately one of them had already died.

I didn't know the house was empty, so I left a note under the door for the owners. I returned the next day, but she had disappeared with 3 of them, leaving one of them behind.
I took him home and called him Edgar Wexman.

Little Edgar Wexman
We fed the little tyke around the clock every 2 hours with special kitten formula, and for 3 weeks he seemed to be thriving, but then unfortunately the poor little bugger abruptly lost weight, and died. It broke my heart.

In the meanwhile I found the mum , still at the house, and started feeding her everyday.
She became extremely attached to me, would sit in my lap purring, follow me everywhere and tried to call the 3 kittens to me, but not being around people, they were totally wild.

This went on for the next 2 months, and then we trapped mum and the kittens and brought them home. The plan being, keep them in my basement, domesticate them, and re-home the kittens, and de-sex and keep Mum (who I have called Petal).

Unfortunately Petal clawed her way through the fortifications I made to the room they were in, and moved them into the underneath inaccessible part of the basement.

So there they were, living in my basement, running away every time they saw me, getting wilder and wilder, shoving themselves into bits of brickwork I didn't know were there, escaping through tiny holes into the back of the house , falling down between the double brick work in the walls (we had to sledge hammer one of them out) and peeing and crapping everywhere.

Then the basement flooded in the heavy rain, they were trapped on islands of old furniture, surrounded by a foot of water. I had to leave the door open to try and dry it out, which I didn't think would be a problem, as I have done it before and they always stayed where mum and the food was.
Then Petal decided she didn't like the wet smelly digs (I cant blame her) and moved the whole family back down the bloody road to the original abandoned building.

So this is where we are now , I am feeding them again everyday. I am going to trap them again in the next few days, which brings me to point of this blog.
I desperately need to find homes for them.
They are really cute, black and white, getting less timid, very healthy, fat and fluffy.
I am trying to get photos of them to post.
There is a little girl who I have called Sandy, she is the boldest out of all of them, and will let me pick her up. The 2 boys, Randy & Andy, are bigger and more timid.
If they are taken while they are this young, they will settle down once they are with people, as they already let me sit with them while they are eating.
I have rung up every cat place I can think of to take them, but as they are really timid, all they say is they will put them down.

I am running out of options with them, and getting desperate.

So, if anyone wants them, please email me at: notwhatitseems1@gmail.com and I will arrange for them to be picked up.

Thanks
Enigma

Desire

2008-02-13T00:44:00.000-08:00

"Boredom: the desire for desires."
Leo Tolstoy

For The Love of God,Think of The Kittens!

2008-02-10T03:44:00.000-08:00

For Your Viewing Pleasure

2008-02-09T01:20:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite video . Go here for the complete experiance.

Gregory Colbert has used both still and movie cameras to explore extraordinary interactions between humans and animals. His exhibition, Ashes and Snow, consists of over 50 large-scale photographic artworks, a 60-minute film, and two 9-minute film haikus. The show will next open in Mexico City on December 15.

This excerpt is entitled Feather to Fire, and is narrated in three languages by Laurence Fishburne (English), Ken Watanabe (Japanese), and Enrique Rocha (Spanish).

More information about Gregory Colbert and Ashes and Snow is available at www.ashesandsnow.com.

The Important Things

2008-02-07T03:38:00.000-08:00

My partner is getting perturbed by the amount of time I am spending on blogworld, but he said to me "Well, I cant get too worried, it doesn't have a dick or a wallet"

I found that really funny.

Conversations From the Other Side

2008-02-06T01:56:00.000-08:00

(Disclaimer, please don't read this if you are suffering from a bereavement, it is not meant to be hurtful , and I understand all too well the grief that leads people to try and get some comfort from any means available).

Wombies last post about witches, reminded me that in my other life, I worked as a (quite well known) phycic, and people would ask me various stupid things. Like did I hear voices? Did I see things? I always told them I took medication for that, and particularly did I channel the dead?

And I would reply "No, and I don't do children's parties either "

But if I did channel the dead it would probably go something like this;

Wife-(Hermione)
"I just need to know if Horatio is alright, does he have any messages for me, is he O.K where ever he is?"

Me-*eyes crossing and glazing *
"Horatio is coming through, I can feel him around me.....hes coming.....he IS here, he does have something to tell you".

Hermione*leaning closer*
"What ? What does he want to say?'

Horatio- (through me)'
"He wants me to tell you he is happy and healthy"

Hermione - *suprised*
"Healthy? He weighed 240 kilos when he died, I nagged him all the time to go on a diet, and would he? NO,its what killed him. I told him he was a disgusting fat pig. But did he listen to me? No, he didn't" *strident voice* All he would say was "Yes dear'

Horatio- *slow ghostly voice*
"I lost all that weight , Hermione.I am now as slim as when we first married'.

Hermione -*peeved*
"Well I suppose that makes up for that looser dead end job you had".

Horatio.-* strong assured voice*
"I am now the director of a large multinational company, Hermione, my life is now one of abundance ".

Hermione, *getting really peeved*
"How on earth did that happen? A gutless unconfident looser like you? I told you all the time you had to be more aggressive, that it was a dog eat dog world, nice guys finished last, I even rang your boss for you, but nothing changed.

Horatio, * grave ghostly voice*
"All things are possible now Hermione."

Hermione*really pissed off*
Well, what else is happening? Do you have any friends there, I remember what a bunch of useless no hopers your friends were, I told you to get rid of them, but did you listen???? No , all you would say was "Yes Dear"

Horatio-
"I have many friends now Hermione."

Hermione- *angry*
"Well it sounds absolutely peachy for you, slim, lots of money, a great job, but I bet one thing hasn't changed, I bet you still cant get it up!!! *to me* I tried to put him on Viagra, but he said he wasn't interested, he said that because I weighed 350 kilos, it was uncomfortable for him. He always WAS a lazy selfish bastard."

Horatio, * preening *
"Actually Hermione, that has changed too. My twin 24 year old Playboy Bunnie friends have helped me with that little problem.They reckon I'm an absolute stud, and can't seem to get enough of me, it can get rather tiring though.

Hermione,
"Well , For Gods sake, arnt you interested in hearing anything about me???

Horatio
Yes Dear,

Hermione,* somewhat mollified*
Well, Horatio ,things haven't changed that much with me, I'm still working at the checkout, my legs still are swollen...I'm still smoking 3 packets a day, I still haven't moved out of the trailer park yet. I hoped to move with the money I got from your super...but that just seemed to disapear. I told you $500,00 wasn't enough super, but did you listen????

Horatio,
'Oh that a shame you havn,t moved from the trailer, Hermione. You would love the place I live in now, its on an island, a tropical paradise. Its like I always wanted, but never could afford because of your shopping addiction".

Hermione* screaming*
"Well , is there anything else you want to tell me about how bloody wonderful it is for you now that your dead!!!

Horatio- Yes ,Hermione there is,
I'M NOT DEAD!!!!

Return of the Fox

2008-02-04T13:05:00.000-08:00

And its back.

Self Reliance

2008-02-02T14:56:00.001-08:00

Ne te quaesiveris extra."

"Man is his own star; and the soul that can
Render an honest and a perfect man,
Commands all light, all influence, all fate;
Nothing to him falls early or too late.
Our acts our angels are, or good or ill,
Our fatal shadows that walk by us still."

Epilogue to Beaumont and Fletcher's Honest Man's Fortune
----------------------------------------

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Just Another Day at the Office

2008-01-29T22:35:00.000-08:00

*This is a slice of my working life today*
The client rings (cue hyper excited Jewish New York accent)

"Hi, my name is #### and I'm a world famous producer and our client is a Household Name and we want you to do this fantastic, amazing, really wild, life changing, earth shattering, poop your pants , save every child in the world , one of a kind, bigger than Ben Hur...,,blah,blah,blah. ......job.... blah..blah... we don't have much money .....blah..blah....you know how it is, Sweetie,"
*I certainly do* ...."blah, blah, blah.". *I start switching off by about now*.

"We're looking at filming in 2 weeks.We don't have a location yet, but that shouldn't be a prob,
Oh, and Honey, could you get the quote to us by this afternoon? Maybe do a ball park figure, you know? Their busting my balls over here on this one Sweetie."
*Its now 6.00 pm my time.*

O.K, I say, send us an email with as much information as possible, and we'll get back to you.
So the script comes through, and it IS bigger than Ben Hur.
PS The names, script, and everything else have been changed to protect my career.*

The email:
Hi Enigma, how you doin? It was great talking to you, Baby.

Here's the script codenamed Project Crash and Burn, we haven't decided on a location, or a director, the actors, casting agency, what our budget is , or how much will be physical SFX or CGI, but see what you can do , top secret, of course, please sign confidentiality agreement and send back ASAP. Thanks Honey,
Regards Famous Producer
___________________________________________
Project Crash And Burn
___________________________________________
Date: 8/11/08
Client: Household Name
____________________________________________
Scene 1>The Crowd
location, wardrobe, camera dept, casting , rigging dept not yet decided on
(SFX , casting wardrobe).

The scene opens with a crowd on a typical New York street, they are going about their business as usual, it is early afternoon , the sun is shining,(we want the streets wet down, and smoke rising from the fire hydrants, and man holes) some of the crowd looks casual , but not too casual, others well dressed, but not too well dressed , some scruffy, but not too scruffy,the men are manly, but not too macho, the women hauntingly lovely, but not to hauntingly lovely, some ethnic diversity, but not too diverse , a few teenagers, but not too few, or too manly, or too feminine .(6 cameras to be positioned for maximum coverage.)
_____________________________________________
Scene 2> Perturbed Crowd,
location: not yet decided on.
( SFX, sunshine , fog, wind, rain, lightening , hale , some snow?... earthquake?)

The crowd is continuing on with their business of being a crowd, when suddenly a raging, swirling, malevolent , heavy, mother fucker of a storm appears , it seems to blow up out of no where, rising and swirling around the crowd. Papers are blowing, skirts are flying up, ties are tangled(close up of tangled ties)The crowd looks around in confusion ( slow panning of camera through crowd) The crowd is becoming visibly perturbed.
____________________________________________________
Scene 3 >Not a train
location ,not yet decided on
( SFX, fire ,wind, rain, sun, models, pyro, gas,flares, pneumatics, hydraulics, animatronics, no trains)

The crowd is visibly perturbed ( camera pans in on close up of visibly perturbed crowd) Suddenly there is a loud sound, like a train coming, but its not a train ... it seems to be coming from above the crowd, they look up , up , up, up, through streets and office buildings of New York ( we will want you to build the full scale models for these,, as we cant get permission to film there) up to what looks like a fiery ball, brighter than a thousand suns, burning, flaring, smoking ( we might CGI the comet, unless you can make a full scale one?) getting bigger and bigger, piercing through the sunny , windy, rainy , foggy snowing day .The ground trembles (perhaps we can use a platform on a gimble rig for this?) ....the camera pans to the perturbed crowd, who is becoming more horrified with every second,(cue Bella Lugosi music) pans back to the fiery ball ,which is getting closer and closer , back to the perturbed ,horrified , macho, hauntingly lovely, ethnically diverse, crowd, back to the fiery ball, back to the crowd, back to the fiery ball, back to the crowd, back to the fiery ball...The heat is building, becoming intense, what the hell is going on? *good question Enigma thinks*
_________________________________________________
scene >4, The Comet
location, cast, camera department , stunt coordinator not yet decided on
(SFX ,stunts,rigging, armouring, pyro, explosives, full scale sets, fire smoke, models, full scale comet?)

The visibly perturbed horrified crowd is becoming even more visibly perturbed and horrified.....they are beginning to panic,
( camera pans around to beginning to panic perturbed horrified crowd), (this will be be an overhead high camera shot, can you supply us with the camera crane?)

Buildings begin to smoke, windows are blowing out with the intense heat, fires are flaring up all around, 12 cars suddenly explode in flames... their doors and windows blow out, broken glass shatters all around, (we want extreme close ups of the cars exploding, as extremely close as you can get).

The fiery ball is getting closer and closer, the crowd goes mad, running like a mad crowd , scattering in all directions, people are looting shops, (this scene should look like the money shot in inferno) fires are exploding all around, a petrol station suddenly explodes into a 50 metre fireball, and blows up another 10 parked cars (is your studio big enough to shoot this there?) The Fire Department and Police arrive .(screaming sirens)

They are attacked by the armed mad looters, everyone in the crowd is packing weapons, and fights back( the director wants only fully automatic weapons for this shot, and he wants live fire, NO BLANKS !)
People are screaming, running in all directions, falling, crashing cars, shooting, looting, and cahooting, frogs are falling from the sky, dogs and cats are living together .IT IS HELL !!!!!
PS (we haven't yet decided on the location and whether to use real scattering extras, or just scatter a few CGI extras in)
_________________________________________________
scene 5> Our Hero, Man and his Dog,
Studio shot, studio not yet decided on, hero and hero dog, not yet decided on.
The dogs name will be Marc Antony .
(SFX, Pyro, dog wrangler.)

The camera pans in hard on our hero and his hero dog,(who will be muscular, but not too muscular, handsome, but not too handsome , the dog that is) of an unsure age, probably about 30 . He is dressed stylishly casual, but not too stylish, he could be Everyman...and his dog could be Everydog...he looks up onto the sunny, foggy, raining, a little bit earth quaky , smoky, windy, burning, fiery, flaming sky . He realises its a comet!!!!!!!, (close up of look of dawning horror on hero, and hero dogs face)
_________________________________________
Scene 6 >Hero Running
Camera on camera tracks,
camera department and location not yet decided on
(SFX ,Mark Antony's handler)

The comet is streaking towards the crowd . Our hero and hero dog pause , we know they are gathering themselves for something important and heroic, but what?(this will be done in single frame) the tension builds , the comet is getting closer , the camera follows our heroes as they run confidently, purposely and stylishly in the opposite direction from the crowd..We wonder,
What is he doing? Where is he going? Will he survive, And what will happen to Marc Antony?

The tension is building to almost unbearable proportions, as our hero and hero dog run, purposely, determinedly, consciously, poetically, an exquisite blend of man and beast, at one with the urban environment and each other. (this should look somewhat like the running scene in Forrest Gump)
____________________________________________

Scene 7- House ; house style and location not yet decided on ,Props department not yet decided on ,Rigging not yet decided on.
(SFX pyro, rigging, breakaway models props, Marc Antony wrangler)

The comet is hurtling towards the earth at a fantastic speed, getting closer and closer, brighter and brighter, hotter and hotter, camera cuts hard to a close up of our heroes, they are running toward a house, the camera cuts back to the comet, cuts back to our hero, back to the comet, back to our hero, back to the comet, back to our hero as he runs inside the house( we know its his house as props will put photos of him and the dog in the hallway).Our heroes run up to the front door, throw it open and run through the house , tripping over furniture , tripping over vases, tripping over Marc Antony ( can you do the breakaway glass, and cutaway furniture?) he runs through the length of the house and reaches the back, he throws open the back door, and runs into the large back yard , disappearing behind the trees at the bottom of the garden. What is on earth is he doing?
*Its at this point Enigma wonders what on earth shes doing*

__________________________________________________
Scene 8>
outside full scale house, location not yet decided on

(SFX, pyro, rigging, full scale street sets)
The comet has now built up speed and incredible heat..it is hurtling toward the hero's house, faster and faster, hotter and hotter, its just a blur of flames and fire ,the surrounding houses are going up in flames , trees are exploding,.....(can you hurtle the comet whilst its burning?I saw the one you did for ##### )it is heading directly towards our hero's house........(camera POV from above on your crane).
_______________________________________________

Scene 9 >outside house burn,
full scale burning house, comet.l ocation not yet decided on ,

(SFX, grips, rigging, pyro, full scale model),

And smash, the comet thunders on down ,streaming a river of flames as it goes,(not sure on pyro or maybe a flame thrower for this?) burning, roaring, incinerating everything in its path
( we will shoot from above on your crane ) it hurtles past the house at a 90 degree angle, the house is destroyed in the trailing fireball (cut to inside of house where everything is ablaze..(we want extreme close ups of this,can you supply the heat shields for the cameras?) it plummets into the yard and and embeds itself 20 metres into the earth , still burning and smoking. Did our heroes survive?

_________________________________________________

scene 10 >Back yard,
location, props, greens, not yet decided on

(SFX, props, greens)
(Long shot, from burning house to back yard).
The camera slowly moves through the burning house, past the blackened trees , through the devastated back yard, the swinging burnt gate, the blackened picket fence, the burning child's tricycle, the burning swing (think the opening scenes in T2) past cars incinerated in the driveway and pans on by the the napalmed pool,(cue music from Apocalypse Now) and closes in on an object on the far side of the yard.

________________________________________
Scene 10 - The MONEY SHOT.
(SFX, props, wardrobe)

We move in closer on the strange object, its blackened and smoking, it looks like a small house..what the fuck is it? (music rises to crescendo), Its a dogs house!
Just then our heroes crawl out of the dog house, they are a bit dirty and smokey , but otherwise o.k...both of them look around at the carnage in absolute amazement.
Our hero reaches down and pats Marc Antony on his head "Crickey" , he says in an awed voice (close up),

"Mark Antony, your Petmate Dog House saved our lives, thank God we didn't go for an inferior product! ....camera pans into Petmate logo, music, fade to black.....

The End

*So folks this is a slice of my working life, it is a pretty accurate description of what happens everyday....The insane ridiculousness of it sometimes really astounds me.

preview

2008-01-29T12:07:00.000-08:00

For those few people who saw that last post..it wasn't supposed to be up there yet, it was a draft ..blogger is going nuts and posted it,, so my apologies for the unedited bad spelling on it.

The Shakespeare Enigma, or, Not What It Seems

2008-01-23T21:06:00.000-08:00

A letter from me , to a friend, who is my Hero.
I am still not really posting much at this stage, but had to write this today.
PS I didn't name my blog after this, I came across it by accident when I googled my blog name in one day.

"One of the fascinating things about the Shakespeare plays is that they are full of enigmas and situations that are not what they at first appear to be - at least, not to the characters in each play.

Take, for instance, Much Ado About Nothing,

Much Ado About Nothing shows how easily men can be duped and made to believe something that is completely wrong, and leading to actions by them that are absolutely wrong, by a simple trick of deception. The prince of Aragon, Don Pedro, together with his friend Claudio and Leonarto, governor of Messina, are totally convinced that Leonarto's daughter, Hero, has been unfaithful on her wedding night. They viciously accuse her in church, at a crucial moment in the wedding ceremony. Hero, struck to the heart, faints. The friar, Francis, who sees clearly that Hero is almost certainly innocent of the charges, proposes that it be put abroad that Hero has died, so as to generate remorse in the hearts of the 'blind' and unkind men. This second but benign trick also works. The men show true remorse and do penance. The play's finale 'resurrects' Hero and, once again, all is revealed and resolved in a way that expresses a far greater love and appreciation than ever existed before.

The principal comedies about twins, The Comedy of Errors and Twelfth Night, also use the idea of seeming death and therefore loss to create a resolution and transmutation of the previously existing state of affairs.

The Tempest portrays the loving couple, Ferdinand and Miranda, helped by Prospero, as privy to seeing the truth - even to the seeing of spirits summoned by Prospero to entertain them. By contrast, the three 'men of sin' see the island as an inhospitable desert, and the good spirit Ariel as a harpie, and the king's son, Ferdinand, as lost to them, drowned in the tempestuous sea. But all is not what it seems, and at the end of the play all is revealed as it really is, with no one harmed and evil desires and thoughts largely redeemed and forgiven. Prospero is then able to throw off his disguise and reveal who he really is, and be restored to his rightful place in the world that had been usurped by his younger brother.

Even in the tragedies, the end result of all mistaken identity is some kind of resolution, in which love and compassion is evoked from various hearts, some of which before were stony, others already generous.

In King Lear the proud old king is deceived by his eldest two daughters, and is blind to the love of his youngest daughter, Cordelia. His mad passion of anger as well as pride causes him to make some disastrous judgements and decisions, leading to some terrible consequences.
His councillor, Gloucester, is likewise deceived, but in this instance by his ill-meaning bastard son, Edmund. Banishment, torture, murder and war follow, but Cordelia's love for her father, Edgar's love for his father, and Kent and the fool's love for their king, awaken Lear's love and clear Gloucester's inner sight. Edgar, importantly, is able to successfully give his love and assistance in the disguise of poor, mad Tom. Like the professional fools of the plays, he pretends to be other than he really is. Jaques, in As You Like It, longs to be such a motley-clad fool, so as to 'cleanse the foul body of th'infected world'.

In all these cases the truth is, at first, concealed, and only revealed at the end of each play. The effect of each concealment, disguise or trick, in which pseudonyms are used, and the subsequent revealing of the truth, is to enable an almost magical resolution of a situation that was previously inharmonious, unenlightened and, in some cases, almost unbearable. The process is what the ancients would call 'alchemy', and the author Shakespeare shows himself a master of its art."

Francis Bacon Research Trust - Essay

Slim Pickin's

2008-01-17T20:47:00.000-08:00

Postings may be a bit thin on the ground for a while as I am up to my eyeballs doing whatever it is I do.

Now I know you all will miss my wit, charm, fabulous sense of humour, my enigmatically winsome ways, the occasional deep pools of wisdom, LOL, that I spout forth , but never fear, I will be still popping in on the comments sections.

Conversations With Mum

2008-01-13T00:53:00.000-08:00

I was at my mums house yesterday and the conversation went something like this:

Enigmas Mum
"You know Enigma, I was listening to the radio the other day, and that really nice vet , Dr Harry Neuter, was talking about how dangerous it is to feed your cats onions.'
He was saying that there is something in the chemicals in onions that doesn't agree with the chemicals in cats, and it can actually KILL them .
Your not feeding your cats onions are you?" *worried expression*

Enigma:
*rather amused*
"No Mum, I'm not feeding my cats onions, I do give them chopped up garlic in their food sometimes though , as its a natural parasite killer".

Enigmas Mum:
*eyes begging to glaze *
I really hope your not giving them onions, Enigma, Dr Neuter was really emphatic about it, he said onions can KILL them, and he said they could just drop down dead on the spot!!!!!

Enigma:
*trying to be patient*
"I didn't say I feeding them onions , Mum , I SAID I was feeding them garlic".

Enigmas Mum
*becoming agitated*
"Well , there has been five cat onion deaths already, its so serious they are about to do a public enquiry into it. Enigma I really thought you of all people would have been aware of it, they have been trying to educate the public about the danger, its been on Today Tonight, and Oprah has even done a show on it, how can you keep giving them onions when there has been such a scandal about it?
You really do have to keep up with current affairs more Enigma."

Enigma
*starting to loose patience*
Mum, listen to me, I'm not feeding them onions, I'm feeding them garlic, and I only give it to them about once a month anyway".

Enigmas mum
*beginning to panic*
How many onions have you given them? They could be ticking time bombs, they may drop dead at any moment! We have to call Dr Neuter straight away, *wringing hands and reaching for the phone*

Enigma ,
*loosing it*
MUM , I'M NOT FEEDING THEM BLOODY ONIONS!! I'm giving them GARLIC !!!

Enigmas Mum:
*subsiding back onto the lounge*
"Oh....Oh... Well , that's probably alright then Dear, just as long as you don't give them onions they should be fine".

A long pause whilst Enigma, and Enigmas Mum recover from the near onion tragedy
.
Enigma:
"Would you like a cup of tea, Mum?"

Enigmas Mum:
"Yes Dear, that would be lovely".

Mums cat follows Enigma into the kitchen and Enigma notices his food his bowl is empty

Enigma:
*calling from kitchen*
"Mum do you want me to feed the cat?"

Enigmas Mum:
"Yes Dear , I was just about to do it myself, but I forgot in all the excitement".

Enigma:
"Here's your food , Puddy Cat," spooning food into his bowl.

Suddenly there's a horrified scream from the lounge room,

DEAR GOD, YOUR NOT FEEDING HIM ONIONS ARE YOU!!!! ?

LA Mort D'Armour

2008-01-11T21:59:00.000-08:00

When was it that love died? We were so fond,

So very fond a little while ago.
With leaping pulses, and blood all aglow,
We dreamed about a sweeter life beyond,

When we should dwell together as one heart,
And scarce could wait that happy time to come.
Now side by side we sit with lips quite dumb,
And feel ourselves a thousand miles apart.

How was it that love died? I do not know.
I only know that all its grace untold
Has faded into gray! I miss the gold
From our dull skies; but did not see it go.

Why should love die? We prized it, I am sure;
We thought of nothing else when it was ours;
We cherished it in smiling, sunlit bowers:
It was our all; why could it not endure?

Alas, we know not how, or when, or why
This dear thing died. We only know it went,
And left us dull, cold, and indifferent;
We who found heaven once in each other’s sigh.

How pitiful it is, and yet how true
That half the lovers in the world, one day,
Look questioning in each other’s eyes this way
And know love’s gone forever, as we do.

Sometimes I cannot help but think, dear heart,
As I look out o’er all the wide, sad earth
And see love’s flame gone out on many a hearth,
That those who would keep love must dwell apart.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Online text © 1998-2008 Poetry X. All rights reserved.
From Maurine and Other Poems | Gay and Hancock, 1910

Two Cows, A Country Bussines Story

2008-01-10T14:43:00.000-08:00

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the
cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly
owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new President of the
United States,leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment,
and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
and invade your country.
You still have no cows,
but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive

Donna Maria Taylor

Recreational Alien

2008-01-06T02:37:00.000-08:00

What would you do if you were a Recreational Alien?

An Alien with too much time on your hands?

When your Alien weekends just drag on by.

Would you pop on in and do some really fruity crop circles?

Do burnouts with your space ship?

Write a film script?

Maybe abduct a human or too, just for kicks, because your young and bored?

And then ask your parents "Can I keep him? I promise to feed and clean up after him.

Plleeeaase can I keep him? Preeetttyyy Plleeaase?

And then have to go through the hassle of wiping his mind when your unhip Alien parents say "No You cant keep him! You know they'll grow up into big whiney things, they make a terrible mess, and they are never happy.

Look at what happened to the last one we got. Luckily when we dropped him back, he wrote that silly book, and no one believed him . Just because the neighbours have them doesn't mean we have to. When will you learn they cant be house trained?"

So there you are, your lean, your mean and your green, your parents don't understand you, your a Recreational Alien, tell me ,what would you do?

I am obviously a bored recreational Enigma at the moment.

Ps The best response to this question was from a non-blogging friend of mine, she said if she was a bored recreational alien shed start a blog.......food for thought for all the bloggers out there.

Floods

2008-01-06T00:22:00.000-08:00

I never post anything personal here, its just my way, but today is an exception.

Today I watched our dam break its banks, roaring and gushing with unbelievable power, taking trees, an orchard and our tractor with it.

I watched our bridge wash out, huge trees swept down a river (which wasn't there an hour before) and our wharf disappear under 5 feet of water.

When it had subsided somewhat, I put on my gum boots, shorts , Akubra and Driz-a-Bone (Aussie raincoat) got in our jeep, and inspected the damage.

Luckily the damage isn,t extensive, we are not cut of, and our house is on top of a valley, so we are safe.

The force of nature is truly a breathtaking thing.

So to all you Aussies out there who are affected by the floods, I hope you are dry and safe.

The Shadow

2008-01-05T15:55:00.000-08:00

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the shadow

Between the conception
And the creation
Beween the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essense
And the descent
Falls the Shadow

An excerpt I love, by T S Elliot

Self Reliance

2008-01-04T23:29:00.002-08:00

I must be myself.

I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that which is deep and holy, that I will do strongly before the the sun and the moon only whatever rejoices me, and the heart apoints.

If you are noble, I will love you: if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true , but not in the same truth as me, cleave to your companions: I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly, but humbly and truly.

It is alike your interests and mine and all mens, however long we have dealt in lies, to live in truth.

Emerson.
"Self Reliance"

Ego Is Not A Dirty Word

2008-01-03T02:51:00.000-08:00

This is an edited version of an email I sent to a friend once, someone very dear to my heart.
I am posting this as I have a friend currently going through a similar thing.

There seems to be a fashion in spiritual circles to try and "kill the Ego".
The Ego is just one aspect of our humaneness.

Admittedly a powerful , consuming one.

Whatever we fight we empower, that's why Christ said "resist not evil". Its the denial of all aspects of ourselves that creates separation and gives us the idea we have something to fight.

Its the longing for the "other" the "not this" the "almost there" that creates spiritual and human anguish.

The belief that there is a right way and a wrong way, that pain , despair, and all of our beautiful confused humanness is not right or spiritual or true.

THIS is the ego talking...it will create conflict any way it knows how, and when you are on the spiritual path, it will use that.

You cant blame it for this, it literally doesn't know what it is doing, its function initially was to be the force that looks outwards, on the world , and to give us a strong sense of self to survive and to explore the external world.
When we thought that it was the only thing, and forgot where 'home' is , thats when the problems arose.

God gave us an ego , as he gave us freewill, to create whatever world we wanted, not in his image, but in ours, which are one and the same.

The Ego thinks it is you, and you think you are it, it is actually trying to protect you, it thinks if it dies , so do you, so to try and kill it, there is an underlying feeling of trying to kill yourself.

You cannot create spiritual suicide, you will end up terribly depressed.

Give it to God. Learn to love yourself, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. Everything changes through love. That isn't a hip throw away line ......real love encompasses everything, including your ego, it sees it as mistaken, like a small child, not threatening, real love is compassionate.

The ego is a God given gift, if one was never lost, they would never work to find the way home.

In our confusion and humaneness we are beautiful beyond belief, an expression of Gods glory and magnificence, perfect in our imperfections....

PS even though I talk about God a lot, I am not formally aligned with any religion.

A Thought For The New Year

2008-01-03T00:24:00.000-08:00

The greatest risk for man is not that he aims too high and misses, but that he aims too low and hits."
- Michelangelo

Gud-Aye 2008

2007-12-31T15:12:00.000-08:00

Wishing everyone health, happiness, prosperity, and joy in the coming year ; where ever you are in the world, from my spot in the world.

The Unwelcome Guest

2007-12-27T15:22:00.000-08:00

(Or what to do when “bad” thoughts drop in uninvited)

A Cheesy New-Age Adult Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there was a slim, beautiful new-age woman called Daya (her real name was Babara, but her Guru had given her the name of Daya and she felt it was more in tune with her inner spirit ).

She loved reading new age books, was in touch with her Chakra energy, regularly had colonics and massages, went to yearly Buddhist retreats, and tried to live in “The Now” as much as possible.

She lived in a lovely inner city house (which she had put a lot of energy into manifesting) and was married to a loving and supportive non-new age man ; who she was trying to change by discovering her underlying beliefs of why he wouldn’t change. She had a fantastic relationship with her teenage son, even though he often asked her if she could “PLEASE TRY AND BE NORMAL FOR ONCE!” On the whole she was very happy and content with her life.

So here she was one morning sitting in her beautiful house surrounded by her Burmese cats, (Yin &Yang) when there was a knock at the door. She opened it and standing there were all her Good Thought Friends. “Welcome,” she said, beaming at them “I’m so pleased to see you, your right on time, I’ve just finished meditating.”

So all her Good Thought Friends followed her inside the house.

Abundance sat on the lounge : Daya was really happy to see him , he was one of her very special friends. Love cuddled up next to Abundance, ( Daya always felt a little bit anxious when Love popped in, as she really liked her ,but never knew how long she would stay around for ), Sensuality was checking out Love; Learning was browsing through Dayas books , and telling Patience and Tolerance that he thought some of them were a bit outdated (Linda Goodman's Astrology , Numerology, Your Erogenous Zones etc...),

Patience and Tolerance just agreed with him and went and made a cup of tea.

Manifestation was having a debate with Affirmation on the right way to get things done…it was getting a bit heated until Higher Understanding stepped in and sorted it out. Intuition really didn't have much to say, as she always knew what was coming. So there was Daya surrounded by her lovely Thought Friends; she always felt like a better person when they were there and enjoyed their company immensely.

Just then there was another knock at the door. “I wonder who that is?” Daya thought “I’m not expecting anyone else”, so she went and opened the door. “Oh No!” She screamed, “It’s that Bad Thought Fear! What is he doing here? The last time I saw him I told him to go away and never come back. I thought I had got rid of him forever!” So she quickly slammed the door in Fears face.

“Let me in” yelled Fear. “I’ve brought all my other friends” and to Dayas horror , when she looked through the peephole she saw there was a whole group of Unwelcome Guests. There was Guilt, Shame, Anger , Addiction, Lust, Jealousy, Tiredness, Depression and lots more; and pushing their way to the front were the two scariest of them all, Perfection and Self-Blame.

“Oh my God what will I do? They’ve tracked me down”, (Daya had recently moved and only given her Good Thought Friends her change of address) “Maybe if I ignore them they’ll go away, she thought” so she sat at the kitchen table and tried to make polite conversation with Clarity, but she couldn’t hear what he was saying with all the noise coming from outside.

It was getting late by this time and she was rather tired and worried, so she asked her Good Thought Friends if they would stay the night to protect her from the Unwelcome Guests outside.

“Of course we will” they said, but after they had gone to sleep she could still hear the cries of “let us in” coming faintly from the front yard. “I have to drown that noise out somehow” she thought, so she had a lovely glass (or two) of red wine, smoked a new age cigarette, rang a few of her supportive girlfriends, did a tarot reading for herself , watched something mindless on TV, took 2 Valium and finally went to bed.

In the morning everything was quiet. “Maybe they've gone”, She thought, so she peeked through the window; but to her horror all the Unwelcome Guests were there…they had even set up tents!

They were asleep, but she knew they would soon wake up and start yelling at her again. She could feel herself beginning to panic. “You must help me” she pleaded with her Good Thought Friends. “What should I do?”

Love suggested just loving them, (Daya didn't want to do that), Patience told her to wait and eventually they would go away, and Manifestation told her it was her fault they were there in the first place (outside, Blame laughed), Affirmation told her to write down and say 30 times, “ My Unwelcome Guests Are Gone”, and they would disappear.

Dayas husband wasn’t any help as he had gone to work to keep up the practical side of Dayas manifesting. “I’m going mad!” she thought as the suggestions and voices from inside and outside the house got louder and louder. “I’ll have to let them in” she realized, so slowly she walked to the door, opened it and fearfully watched as all the Unwelcome Guests marched in.

She was very afraid that now she had let them in they would never go away, and they would destroy the lovely relationship she had with her Good Thought Friends. “Don’t talk or go near my Good Thought Friends” she told them “you don’t belong with them”.

“I’ll try and pretend they're not here and only pay attention to my Good Thought Friends,” She decided; but everywhere she turned she saw or bumped into an Unwelcome Guest.

Finally, when she couldn’t stand it anymore she rushed up to Fear “What do you want?" She cried, “Can’t you see I don’t want to be friends with you? All I want you to do is go away and leave me alone!” and she slowly sank down onto the lounge, put her head in her hands and started crying.

Fear gently approached her, (here comes the cheesy bit) and putting his hand lovingly on her shoulder said to her “We aren't here to hurt you. All we want is for you to listen to us and understand what we are trying to tell you. If you get to know us you’ll see that we really aren’t that bad and you don’t have to be scared of us.”

Just then Peace came up and held hands with Fear. “You see,” said Peace “What Fear is trying to tell you are that if you don’t get to know him, you also won’t get to know me. We are ALL your friends, and all of us have gifts to share with you, if you will only accept them.”

And Daya looked on in amazement as all her Thought Friends started giving her the beautiful presents they had brought.

Soon she had to put all the presents in another room, there were so many of them .

Suddenly there was an extra loud knock at the door, and standing there, with a radiant smile on his face stood Awareness (he sometimes went by the nickname of Stilly, or Stillness). “Can I come in?” he asked “Of course” Daya laughed, “Everyone is welcome here now!”

And Daya finally understood that ALL her Thoughts were her friends and teachers, and each had his own special gift to give to her, and she didn’t have to be scared of them, or try and separate or ignore them... It was then that Compassion said “Let’s raise our glass and propose a toast, to inner peace, love, joy and grace.

And Daya lived with Awareness and Her Thoughts happily ever after.

copy write Enigma 2004

The Law of Attraction

2007-12-21T14:52:00.000-08:00

The Law of Attraction seems to be the new "in thing' now-days...what a lot of people who teach this don't seem to realize, is that to attract something it helps to become it yourself. You can sit in your room and do visualizations, affirmations and a "manifestation" scrapbook until till the cows come home...but unless you physically, mentally and emotionally live and work towards becoming what you desire, you won,t achieve what you want or the results will be short lived.

A few examples of this are - (these may seem obvious)

If you want a relationship with someone who is kind, become kind yourself
If you don't want to be lonely, befriend people.
If you want to be surrounded by adventurous, fun people...become adventurous, join a climbing group, travel overseas, etc
If you want to be a best selling author then do a writing course, read up on publishing , meet other writers, commit yourself to one hour a day to write...whether you feel inspired to or not.
If you want a passionate loving relationship..become passionate and loving with yourself and others. Give to yourself the life that you want the other person to supply you with.

Also with the current teachings of only thinking positive thoughts...our so called "negative" thoughts are a gift, when we investigate them it leads us to a richer, deeper understanding of who we are., and shows us what we need to transform and change in our lives. Our thoughts are neither positive nor negative, they just ARE...its our attachment to them that causes difficulties, and the belief that we are our thoughts.

I believe the simplistic ideas being currently put forth towards the philosophy of manifesting, and the "you create your own reality" model are helping to create enormous problems and underlying guilt and depression in people who feel they aren't "doing it right".

Taking the time to learn something and working towards it creates confidence in our ability to navigate through life....it also gives us deep inner strength and trust in ourselves, and shows us that we can improvise, adapt and overcome whatever life presents to us.

Our experiences are earned in this physical and spiritual universe... there are no short cuts, nor should there be...to think there are is to deny ourselves the glory and magnificence of what we can achieve through our will, imagination, energy, action, enthusiasm and the Grace of God.

"WHAT EVER STANDS IN YOUR WAY, IS THE WAY"
Eckardt Tolle

Questions & Answers

2007-12-20T22:34:00.001-08:00

Questions put to Sri Nisargadata Maharaj- (Author of I Am That)

Question; I am a medical man, I have studied a lot, I have imposed on myself a strict discipline in the way of exercises and periodical fasts and I am a vegetarian.

Maharaj: But in the depth of your heart what do you want?

Q: I want to find reality.
M: What price are you willing to pay for reality? Any price?

Q: While in theory I am ready to pay any price, in actual life again and again I am being prompted to behave in ways which come between me and reality. Desires carry me way.

M: Increase and widen your desires till nothing but reality can fulfil them. It is not desire that is wrong, but its narrowness and smallness. Desire is devotion. By all means be devoted to the real, the infinite, the internal heart of being. Transform desire into love. All you want is to be happy. All your desires, whatever they may be, are expressions of your longing for happiness. Basically you wish yourself well.

Q: I know that I should not....
M: Wait! Who told you that you should not? What is wrong with wanting to be happy?

Q: The self must go, I know…….

M: But the self is there. Your desires are there. Your longing to be happy is there.Why? Because you love yourself. By all means love yourself- wisely.
What is wrong is to love yourself stupidly, so as to make yourself suffer. Love yourself wisely. Both indulgence and austerity have the same purpose in view- to make you happy. Indulgence is the stupid way, austerity is the wise way.

Q; What is austerity?

M: Once you have gone through an experience, not to go through it again is austerity. Not to anticipate pleasure or pain is austerity. Desire by itself is not wrong. It is life itself, the urge to grow in knowledge and experience.
It is the choices you make that are wrong. To imagine that some little thing -food, sex, power, fame- will make you happy is to deceive yourself. Only something as vast and as deep as you’re real self can make you truly and lastingly happy.

Q: Since there is nothing basically wrong with desire as an expression of love of self, how should desires be managed?

M: Live your life intelligently, with the interests of your deeper self always in mind. After all, what do you really want? Not perfection; you are already perfect. What you seek is to express in action what you are. For this you have a body and a mind. Take them in hand and make them serve you.

Q: Who is the operator here? Who is to take the body-mind in hand?

M: The purified mind is the faithful servant of the self. It takes charge of the instruments, inner and outer, and makes them serve its purpose.

Q: And what is their purpose?

M: The self is universal and its aims are universal. There is nothing personal about the self. Live an orderly life, but don’t make it a goal by itself. It should be the starting point for high adventure.

Q: Do you advise me to come to India repeatedly?

M: If you are earnest you don’t need to be repeatedly moving about. You are yourself wherever you are and you create your own climate. Locomotion and transportation will not give you salvation. You are not the body and dragging the body from place to place will take you nowhere. Your mind is free to roam the three worlds-make full use of it.

Q: If I am free, why am I in a body?

M: You are not in a body, the body is in you! The mind is in you. They happen to you. They are there because you find them interesting. Your very nature has the infinite capacity to enjoy. It is full of zest and affection. It sheds its radiance on all that comes within its focus of awareness and nothing is excluded. It does not know evil or ugliness, it hopes, it trusts, it loves. You people do not know how much you miss by not knowing your true self. You are neither the body nor the mind, neither the fuel nor the fire. They appear and disappear according to their own laws.

That which you are, your true self, you love it, and whatever you do; you do for your own happiness. To find it, to know it, to cherish it is your basic urge. Since time immemorial you loved yourself, but never wisely. Use your body and mind wisely in the service of the self, which is all. Be true to your own self, love yourself absolutely. Do not pretend that you love others as yourself. Unless you have realized them as one with yourself, you cannot love them.

Don't pretend to be what you are not, don’t refuse to be what you are.

Your love of others is the result of self knowledge, not its cause.
Without self –realization, no virtue is genuine. When you know beyond all doubting that the same life flows through all that is and you are that life, you will love all naturally and spontaneously. When you realize the depth and fullness of your love of yourself, you know that every living being and the entire universe are included in your affection.
But when you look at anything as separate from you, you cannot love it for you are afraid of it. Alienation causes fear and fear deepens alienation. It is a viscous circle. Only self-realization can break it .Go for it resolutely

There is a greater reason to remember September 11th.

2007-12-18T15:04:00.000-08:00

The common belief among many people is that Christ was a Pisces.

This post is really written for all you astrologers and numerologist out there.

The other common misconception is that he was born on the 25 December.

We celebrate his birthday on the 25 of December as this was decided by pope Liberius in Ad 354, and became the rule in the West in 435 when the first "Christ Mass" was officiated by Pope Sixtus 111.

This nicely coincided with the celebration by the Romans of their main god the Sun God, and to their other favourite god Mithra.
So the Roman church thought it was a tidy idea to divert the pagans from their unchristian ways.

The idea Christ was a Pisces seems to have originated from the fish symbol that the early Christians used.

However there is mounting evidence to prove that Christ was born September the 11th, (Virgo) sometimes referred to in personolgy as "The week of the Enigma" (I couldn't resist putting that in. )

If this is true I find it to be much more accurate from a numerology and astrology perspective, than Christ as a Piscean , no offense intended to any Pisces out there.

In astrology Virgo represents synthesising the true from the false, purity ,teaching, transmutation, healing , and service to humanity which often involves personal sacrifice.

The number 11 in numerology is called a master number, which also deals with healing and personal sacrifice, so with these two powerful aspects, one can see how this the new birth date makes sense.

I personally don't really care what star sign Christ was, I feel that when you get to that level of awareness and enlightenment, it really doesn't matter.
But I thought from a professional point of view this was interesting.

"Only a life lived for others, is a life worthwhile." Albert Einstein

a miserable life

2007-11-26T03:54:00.000-08:00