Fleeing Away

MY thoughts soar not as they ought to soar,
Higher and higher on soul-lent wings;
But ever and often and more and more
They are dragged down earthward by little things,
By little troubles and little needs,
As a lark might be tangled among the weeds.

My purpose is not what it ought to be,
Steady and fixed, like a star on high,
But more like a fisherman's light at sea;
Hither and thither it seems to fly--
Sometimes feeble, and sometimes bright,
Then suddenly lost in the gloom of night.

My life is far from my dream of life--
Calmly contented, serenely glad;
But, vexed and worried by daily strife,
It is always troubled and ofttimes sad--
And the heights I had thought I should reach one day
Grow dimmer and dimmer, and farther away.

My heart never finds the longed-for rest;
Its worldly striving, its greed for gold,
Chilled and frightened the calm-eyed guest
Who sometimes sought me in days of old;
And ever fleeing away from me
Is the higher self that I long to be.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Two Cows, A Country Bussines Story

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the
cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly
owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new President of the
United States,leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.


A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment,
and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
and invade your country.
You still have no cows,
but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive


Donna Maria Taylor

a miserable life

Here are some handy tips to guarantee that your life is as miserable as it can possibly be

*Constantly think and talk about the past, preferably all the negative things. Even the positive things are a great way to make you feel miserable, they are gone, who knows if they will ever happen again.

*Define yourself by your age.

*Always be right.

*Never inquire into your thought processes, that would undo being right.

*Have most of your conversations revolve around what someone else did, and don't forget to judge them accordingly.

*Take everything, absolutely everything, including the weather, personally.

*Use the expressions "it isn't fair, and this shouldn't have happened" whenever something goes wrong and always find something to blame, including yourself

*Compare yourself to other people, positively or negatively , it doesn't matter which.

*Learn to react quickly , subjectively and emotionally to whatever happens .

*Cultivate the philosophy "if your not with me, your against me".

*Never forget who has hurt you, the first tip helps enormously with this.

*Treat your children and your partners as extensions of yourself.

*Expect people to think and feel exactly like you, and react with justified anger when they don't.

*React with even more anger when they do all of the above.

*Always do what you think is expected of you, never tell people how you really feel and then blow up in justifiable anger at how they are abusing you.

*Get into the habit of generalizing and putting people in boxes

*Expect people and life to never change.

*Use as your favourite expression "this is the way I am and I cant help or change it".

*Be defensive and evasive, after all if your honest, you, ll give the game away.

*Think that if someone loves you, they know what you are thinking and feeling.

*Spend hours trying to work out what someones motive is , come up with your own ideas, and treat them accordingly.

*Make sure that you are never kind or purposely back down from a fight with someone you don't like, it shows weakness.

*Cut people out of your life who don't agree with you.

*Blame everything in your life on external events, and when someone refuses to treat you as a victim, get really angry and call them unsupportive.

*Never learn anything new or meet different people.

*Surround yourself with people who actively practice these tips as a way of life, this helps perfect it . Remember misery loves company.

*Expect people to do things on your time frame.

*Pick unavailable romantic partners , be with them for years, use all of the reasons above why you cant leave them, and then do it all over with someone new.

*Regard every new relationship as "The One'.

*Have set rules, regulations and expectations on the relationship, if they don't fulfill them , ditch them , they weren't "The One", this nicely validates all the other techniques.

These are just a few handy hints, but even if you only do a few of them, a miserable life is guaranteed. And the beauty of this is it can only get worse.

Try it for two weeks, and if you don't feel like total shit by that time you can get your money back.

Enjoy