You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the
cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an
intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly
owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new President of the
United States,leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called
'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment,
and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
and invade your country.
You still have no cows,
but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive
Donna Maria Taylor
9 comments:
But is the one on the left really the attractive one?
I prefer the one on the right , myself Indy..I think she has a really cute"come hither "look about her.
An Afghan Corporation
You have two fields of poppies. ISAF come along and tell you that they must be irradicated and they will give you two cows in replacement. One day.
Another family is endeared to the western way of life and the future is bright.
Now middy, you arent getting cynical , are you?
I'll take the giraffes, please.
AND I get harmonica lessons! Wooohoooooo!!
Yeah ,Mel , the giraffes are way cool, (trying to be surealistic), ,and type with freshly painted nails.
Or you could teach the giraffes to play the harmonica.
Brilliantly originally ingeniously funny. Perfect start to my day. Thankyou.
National stereotyping of the very worst kind.
Brilliant.
Yes boys, I agree, one of the wittier things I,d read in a long time.
hate to generalise but I agree Wombie
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