Conversations With Mum

I was at my mums house yesterday and the conversation went something like this:

Enigmas Mum
"You know Enigma, I was listening to the radio the other day, and that really nice vet , Dr Harry Neuter, was talking about how dangerous it is to feed your cats onions.'
He was saying that there is something in the chemicals in onions that doesn't agree with the chemicals in cats, and it can actually KILL them .
Your not feeding your cats onions are you?" *worried expression*

Enigma:
*rather amused*
"No Mum, I'm not feeding my cats onions, I do give them chopped up garlic in their food sometimes though , as its a natural parasite killer".

Enigmas Mum:
*eyes begging to glaze *
I really hope your not giving them onions, Enigma, Dr Neuter was really emphatic about it, he said onions can KILL them, and he said they could just drop down dead on the spot!!!!!

Enigma:
*trying to be patient*
"I didn't say I feeding them onions , Mum , I SAID I was feeding them garlic".

Enigmas Mum
*becoming agitated*
"Well , there has been five cat onion deaths already, its so serious they are about to do a public enquiry into it. Enigma I really thought you of all people would have been aware of it, they have been trying to educate the public about the danger, its been on Today Tonight, and Oprah has even done a show on it, how can you keep giving them onions when there has been such a scandal about it?
You really do have to keep up with current affairs more Enigma."

Enigma
*starting to loose patience*
Mum, listen to me, I'm not feeding them onions, I'm feeding them garlic, and I only give it to them about once a month anyway".

Enigmas mum
*beginning to panic*
How many onions have you given them? They could be ticking time bombs, they may drop dead at any moment! We have to call Dr Neuter straight away, *wringing hands and reaching for the phone*

Enigma ,
*loosing it*
MUM , I'M NOT FEEDING THEM BLOODY ONIONS!! I'm giving them GARLIC !!!

Enigmas Mum:
*subsiding back onto the lounge*
"Oh....Oh... Well , that's probably alright then Dear, just as long as you don't give them onions they should be fine".

A long pause whilst Enigma, and Enigmas Mum recover from the near onion tragedy
.
Enigma:
"Would you like a cup of tea, Mum?"

Enigmas Mum:
"Yes Dear, that would be lovely".

Mums cat follows Enigma into the kitchen and Enigma notices his food his bowl is empty

Enigma:
*calling from kitchen*
"Mum do you want me to feed the cat?"

Enigmas Mum:
"Yes Dear , I was just about to do it myself, but I forgot in all the excitement".

Enigma:
"Here's your food , Puddy Cat," spooning food into his bowl.

Suddenly there's a horrified scream from the lounge room,

DEAR GOD, YOUR NOT FEEDING HIM ONIONS ARE YOU!!!! ?